Hafen Family | Babies on Earth and Heaven

I have known Shanda for a very long time. We grew up together in Cheyenne, Wyoming and we both ended up in Utah! Shanda has always been such a gorgeous girl and it is absolutely no surprise that her family has turned out just as beautiful as she is. 

The Hafen family has gone through a lot of trials before sweet baby Owen was born. Shanda suffered through several miscarriages between her sweet girl Aria and Owen. It was such a struggle and Shanda was kind enough to share some words with me about her experience with bringing Owen to the world that I would love to share. Her words about her love for her babies here on earth and in heaven are ones of hope. And I loved reading her experience. I hope you will too. 

Right after we had Aria, I felt like we needed to add to our family again immediately. Royal convinced me to wait and so we did. Once we were ready, we got pregnant with twins! We were ecstatic, as we had prayed for and wanted twins. I miscarried at home suddenly at 11 weeks on February 4th, 2016. I cannot begin to express the sorrow of our loss.

Quickly after, we became pregnant again. On June 2nd, 2016 we were able to hear the baby's heartbeat and see him or her for the first time in an ultrasound. We were immediately in love and I began to put together a nursery and collect baby items. June 28th, 2016, my water broke and I knew I was miscarrying. Went to the ER and there was nothing they could do. We lost him or her at 13 weeks.

The weeks, months and year to follow were full of sorrow. Our marriage suffered, as we both grieved in our own way. I blamed myself at first and had a really hard time coping with life. Nothing can prepare you to feel the loss of a child and we had lost three precious souls in the span of a short time.

It took time and a lot of effort, but we slowly began to pick up the pieces and find our new normal. I didn't know if we should try again and was terrified to.Eventually, we decided we had room in our home and hearts for one more.

When we found out we were pregnant with Owen, we were nervous and excited all at the same time. I felt like a bad Mom at first, as I felt like I was betraying the three I had lost. As the pregnancy progressed, I felt so much love for him.

Owen was born beautiful and healthy to us February 29th, 2018. As they placed him on me and I held him for the first time, I felt so much peace and a happiness I hadn't felt in a long while. I realized that if I had not lost the first three, I would probably never have met Owen. It is a huge blessing to come from the ashes of such sorrow.

As a Mom, I am sure you feel it as I do, that our children are our life. We love them in a way we never imagined we could love. Somehow that love expands to encompass each and every new child. Oh, how I love my six babies and I look forward to meeting the three that stand by as angels. I miss them dearly and think of them daily.